July 10, Will's escape attempt

Note: This is one of the most emotional updates. It was a life changing day for us, and one we still think of often. I remember this day when Will is on my last nerve, and I'm glad he's here even when he's feeling 2.

Justin here,
I'm sitting in an overnight room at the NICU that Will is in. We had a very scary day. The docs decided he was doing well enough to extubate (remove his oxygen tube) and put him back on a CPAP (sp?) which is more like a snorkel over the nose, like he had his first 2 or 3 days on. He did well for about 3-4 hours and then he coded, which was cardiac arrest. April came back from pumping and found the nurse over him and he was grey. The nurse called for help and the NICU staff and docs rushed to him and worked on him for 15-20 minutes to revive him, just like on TV there was a wave of commotion, medications, people, chaos, while April and I sat on a couch some 10 feet away hoping for the best. We were doing ok until the chaplain came to us, which made us realize the gravity of the danger Will was in. The NICU staff called us in to come talk to him and touch him, I think April and I truly belived they had asked us in to say goodbye. He was on his back, but upside down- meaning his head was facing the foot of his incubator, he had been intubated but was moving around with his eyes open. We both placed a hand on either side of his head and watched him wiggle and look around the room and up at us ,as April and I both wept. At that moment I saw how beautiful he was and how important he is to me and April and how much I needed him to stay with us. The chaplain asked if we'd like him to say a prayer and I said yes. I don't remember what he said, but it was the most imortant prayer I've ever said amen to...Before the chaplain left he commented that his eyes (William's) looked so aware. Noone had told us they had stabilized Will until we had been by his side for half an hour or so. Looking back I suppose it was obvious by his moving around and looking up at us.

The Doc saw us a little later and was not sure what had happened, because all of Will's stats and numbers and tests were all looking good, and he seemed as strong as could be expected, the color in his feet and legs which had caused some concern days ago were perfect and pink like the rest of him, which is why they took out his breathing tube, leaving it in also has danger of lung scaring so they like to remove them when babies like Will are strong. Will is doing ok now, stats look good, blood gas tests are coming in nicely. So here we are in a little room, April is asleep next to me but I'm too awake, maybe I'll sleep when he is in pre-school. I never thought my baby would have a heart attck before me. This has been the scariest day as a parent, and the scariest thing I've ever been through.

If you have any loved ones that have passed away, please ask them to watch for Will and to shoo him back to us if he tries to make a break for it again.

Love you all
Justin